Heart Smiles

So, friends, take a firm stand, feet on the ground and head high. Keep a tight grip on what you were taught, whether in personal conversation or by our letter. May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech. 2 Thessalonians 2:15 The Message Translation

Today has been another resty day. These are the days I need what I call heart smiles. They are little encouragements from God that He loves me no matter what I am going through. We have all had trials and difficult situations of various sizes. I have learned that no matter what the size, color or variety of your situation when you are going through it, your life gets consumed by it if you let it. Some are more difficult than others to lasso, pull down, hog tie, raise your victorious hand and declare God is in control. Plain and simply, if He wasn't, I wouldn't be here.

On many an occasion throughout my life, I have dealt or not dealt with my trials by shifting my focus from myself to needs of others. If I can't "fix" my unfixable problem then I'll just "fix" someone else's that is fixable. That's how I became a fixaholic. It started very early in life. Want to keep Momma happy? Be an overachiever. Want to make the teachers happy? Be an overachiever. Want to be the best wife and mother? That alone will wear you out. Want to make an employer happy? Be an overachiever. Want your business to be successful? Be an overachiever. You can see where this is going can't you? Especially when one of your biggest unfixable problems has always been health issues. Yep, in the toilet every time. And once again I have found myself swirling around in the blue water so to speak.

How did I get there this time? I stepped out of the boat and the wind and waves took me down. Evidently, my faith is just not strong enough to hold me up yet. I guess this time it is called don't let God down or the church family that is praying for you. It has been going on for about a month now. I had some very good upward momentum for a few weeks then it just started slowly sliding backwards. I ignored all the signs that I was depleting "my batteries" and pressed forward determined to have total victory. I kept pressing through the pain and various other symptoms. You know what they say "no pain-no gain". Well, I had enough pain and symptoms this past week to gain a baby elephant and nothing to show for it. Except, I know my LORD has been with me through it all and it is His will that I be healed. I am not giving up. I refuse to give in. That is what has got me through this far. All that determination and stubbornness along with God's unending mercy and grace got me through the first 36 years until I found Him. For the last twelve and the rest, His unending love will see me through. I am dusting myself off and without condemnation, this time, I will rest when He says rest--In JESUS' name!
But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life! Jude 1:20 The Message Translation

Lord, You alone are my strength. Fill me LORD with Your mighty presence. Holy Spirit comfort me. I will not waiver from the truth--I am healed by the stripes of Jesus, I am free from the bondage of sickness, pain and infirmity! AMEN